Do We Really Trust God, First

It was hard to back this truck in this dock, but I was certain that I could. 

We are children of the most high God, and we claim his love, grace and mercy in our faith and testimonies.

I am inspired to answer a question about faith.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for, with the evidence of it unseen.  

When God chooses to use us in his faith walk, he is not necessarily looking for the person that has all the abilities to perform the task, instead he seems to choose those of us that have our last  meal, last dollar and hope to perform an impossible mission.  I was reminded by one of my video supporters from YouTube this morning that, Yes God Is Able. (AMBASCIAPERCRISTO). He reminded me through his video post of how we profess our faith in God, yet, at the first sign of adversity we become overwhelmed by the situation and the size of it, and we shrink back and question God. Is this God speaking to me, or is it my imagination.  Note, we have prayed and fasted for this answer.  you prayed for a changed life and not to repeat entangled web of mess ever again. Well my friends, you have to hold still for that kind of blessing.  You have to ride it and wait on God to move on your behalf.

The scriptures he used  to support his thoughts (l Sam. 17:8-24; 41-51) of how we react when our Goliath's are bigger than the solutions to our problems.  Do we really trust God at his first words to us, or do we begin to question him...

The picture above is a reminder for you from me as an (I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me).  I have faced adversities at one time or another.  My life was turned upside down after, God told me that all of my debt would be taken care of, and I would not suffer loss. I went through a complete Job experience shortly after that.  I lost my husband, he lost his car, and I almost lost my mind behind all of the unbelievable mess that came along with the testing of my faith through this experience.  

My church buddies turned on me, and told me it was something I had done, and to top it off, neither of them would come around anymore to comfort me in this time of distress.  These were the same people that you prayed for, and watched them recover.  I had to be shocked back to reality.  I was so hurt on the inside that I could only groan, but God knew what I needed in this moment of my life.  He gently guided me back to a sustainable place in my life, and gave me day to day resuscitation through my life skills.  It felt like I had been vacuumed from the inside out.  The scriptures I had given others, now, they mirrowed/reflected on me.  In other words, he was saying to me, you taught those scriptures, now can you live by them and trust in me when you don't have a perfect packaged life for you and your family. 

The one scripture continued to push up in me for a three month period before the Job experience hit my home.. 

(Jude 24-25) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.  I knew it had to be God, because I could not remember the scripture word for word previously. While God was setting me up as a testimony of faith, I was still preaching and glorifying God, before the test.  I still preached and glorified during the test, and I still glorify God. I became a more than conqueror type woman.  Some where in the mess, I got a new attitude and realized that I was responsible for me.  I began to claim what God had told me, and I prayed for a new job, and to finish school, because I needed a Degree to make a better income.  I fought some tears in front of my daughter, and continued functioning by day and breaking down at night when everything was quite and peaceful.  

Finances were few, and bills were surmounting, so I thought about the plans that my husband and I had made before we separated.  We said,  "he would go out first and get his license and credentials, and I would follow after he got things set up.  We would drive trucks and make a living. Well, folks make sure you run your plans by God first.  That did not happen.  It was as though my husband did not want me to make that kind of money too.

 Remember when you marry, it is like a business merger, if you don not add the necessary components to the marriage; it will go bankrupt.  Hint: Pick the right person for the job, at least, let them have a track record that you can see that they can stand a test. Check the qualifications (first) to see if they are qualified to help you.  It is a sad state of affairs when you are the blessing, and God sends someone for you to bless and assist to help make them become better human beings at the sacrifice of all of your blood, faith, sweat and tears. (www.trueGodtv.com The Hour of Power message on yesterday with City of Refuge Pastor Hosea). I was the chosen one for the job, but I thought God had sent him to help me. All the major decisions, I had to make, he didn't know how to manage money.  The hidden secret was he had a gambling problem.  I though I needed a strong man, that new the word and would pray, teach and preach like me.  I still believe that I do need that type, but God seems to send people that need fixing.  Especially, when I have resolved that I would help only a certain kind of people.

I am not rambling, I still remember the question, Do We Really Trust God (first)? I want to build you in your faith first.  After I realized that I was the chosen vessel, I started fasting and praying.  By this time, I was so broken, but I had some defense rising in me.  I was mad about the opportunity that was given to us, and how God made a way every time we prayed, and waited on God.  I began to pray for the same type work my husband had, and better a salary to boot.  I prayed in April 2001, by the end of April, I had received a college scholarship to return to school to obtain my Bachelor's Degree in business, and I received a call for a loan to attend trucking school in Asheboro, NC.  When you stand still, and trust God he will meet your every need. That year, I went to college in June, truck driving school, and worked in the school district.  I managed my bills.  In August of the same year, I had signed up with Werner (paperless logs company) and stayed out for two months, so I could complete my training. I returned home in October driving my first truck. The first truck led me to the truck you see above.  This was a funny dock to get into, or you had to blind side back to the dock.  I worked that truck until I squared those doors. It took a few pull-ups, but life takes a few pull ups, and a few prostrate moves to the floor to slay your Goliath's.  I trusted God before, during and after my Job experience. I recommend that when you are faced with the question is this God, remember that God redirects us, because the plans we made to live our lives wasting away in some life that he never planned for you in the first place, nor will he get any glory out of it. It is how a parent will take the keys from a child, when the child is drinking and driving.

God redirects us so that he can get the glory out of our lives. I spent a full year on sabbatical with my new husband, and gave him some of the best moments of a clean and healthy lifestyle.  By the way, one more hidden secret was he drank, but I did not know it, because he cleaned up before presenting himself to me.  See how that works.  We clean up our outsides but, we don't understand that it is not what is in us that defiles us, but what comes out of our mouth that shows us up.  The devil can not live saved. Eventually, he will slip, and show his true self.  See, I was his blessing.  I will tell you no lie, I felt betrayed.  I wanted to know how could he do this to me, and I got the answer. How could you let him do this to you?  My whole belief system was put to the test.  I passed the test.  He is now deceased (2009) and we were apart since 2000.  He was younger than me, and I have made it to middle adulthood.  I am free, and no chains holding me from this faith life that was chosen for me before the foundation of the earth.

My last response to the YouTube question, Do We Really Believe God?  Whom else can we trust to keep our secrets, love us unconditional, and pray for us when we have know one else.  I believe that God can, when I can not, and he will, when others won't, for He Is God and He is Able.  Visit me at wanful50, playlist on YouTube.