Why Women Still Can’t Have It All

It’s time to stop fooling ourselves, says a woman who left a position of power: the women who have managed to be both mothers and top professionals are superhuman, rich, or self-employed. If we truly believe in equal opportunity for all women, here’s what has to change.

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By ANNE-MARIE SLAUGHTER  Go to Link: http://www.theatlantic.com/anne-marie-slaughter

VIDEO: Anne-Marie Slaughter talks with Hanna Rosin about the struggles of working mothers.

TO:  Whom It May Concern:  I disclaim any rights to this story.

I hope you have tuned in today to find out what is new.  As I traveling through the Internet to find a homework assignment, I stumbled across this article and I found it fascinating, so I wanted to share it.  

Many women are suffering from this this strange-itis, and I hope after you read this article; you can clear up a few facts about working in the fast lane.   While missing the smells of baby powder and the sound of a bat hitting the ball at a little league game, or watching your daughter and your sons go off to the six grade  prom in their tucks and heals, for their first formal time of their lives.

It all depends on the career you have chosen, but you don't always get to see them take their first steps, build their first words, or even hear them say I love you mommy.  Some of us missed the bonding years, and was made to feel as though we were an outside member in our own family, and not the child's fraternal parent.  We missed out on the snuggling, and the Eskimo nose kissing.  This act is where the child usually hold your face in their little hands and say something like this, "Mommy, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole-wide world".  It is usually followed by a big kiss and a hug.  

I noticed that this lady came to the realization that she missed her family and the smells and fun of her children.  She also witnessed a turn around in her principles that she thought would never change.  Why was she at work miles away, and everything that she loved was back home in New Jersey. 

 We change, and it is the strangest thing  

You can be in the middle of the dance floor, and all of a sudden you stop, and the smoke filled room  is full of strangers.  Your dance partner looks at you, and ask ,"Are you alright".  You respond with, yes, but I don't feel much like dancing anymore.  What are you saying, this is your favorite song?  You reply, "not anymore, I hear a new drum beat, and I don't know what it is, but it sounds different".  You take a walk over to the bar and order water, and find it is refreshing for the first time in a long time.  You look at your dance partner and say,  "Are you ready to leave"?  They reply, with something like this... I just got hear, and you say, "I am very sorry, but I feel the need to go home".  You catch a cab, or leave the money for him/her to catch a cab.  At that moment all you know is that you are feeling strange, but a change like no other has come over you, and for the first time in a long time you feel good.  You walked away from everything that has no meaning anymore, and you step into your new "you" and explore the smells an crumbs that you've missed. 

What You Have Missed

For instant, the smell of your husbands cologne, the flowers that you paid the gardener to plant and attend, but you did not witness the new buds in their season. The flower garden you built specifically for the purpose of enjoying a quite and peaceful scenery in the garden while taking in some sunshine.  But you work crazy hours and attend long and important meetings instead. The tree  in the yard that you and the children engraved your initials while they played in the yard. The height chart of each kid; you did not witness the inches  of their growth.  You visited a home for years that you never reflected, or evaluated its greatest potential.  Now, you are at the age where you are beginning to reflect.  What have I done with X years of my life?  Where did it go? It is not so much that the child needs you, but you miss and need that child's smells, smiles and the simple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that always seemed to settle him, or you when you when you bonded and sat on the veranda.  You discussed senseless little nothings, but you miss them now.  It made everything so special and perfect for the both of you; It was your special moments with him.

When life becomes uncertain around us, we reach back to restore those things that we hold near and dear to our hearts.  We began to analyze our next step.  Are we up to par to continue in this rat race, and why should we separate from our family, while we spend hours and years helping others fix there problems, and our homes are falling apart.  We show up for work one day unexpected and realize that everything is in disarray while we were out for one day.  You ask yourself is anyone working while you are out?How come they are not accomplishing what you accomplished alone while you are at work.  You have to ask yourself one question, Am I getting paid for this?  I left two people in my position, and I can do it all in one day.  Two people paid to do the same job, and they can't accomplish this task in one day.  Bells usually sound in your head at this point of surrender.  Face it, you are changing.  

Don't Become the Horse

 I am not suggesting by no means that independence and climbing the corporate latter of your achievements are not important, because they are at a point and time in our lives. We will sort through the cost, begin to reflect on our future right about now.  How much did climbing the latter cost you?  How many marriages, and how many relationships along the way?

Now that you are well adjusted to the success of the extravagant lifestyle, can you really adapt at the "double life" of returning home to wipe diaper spills and clean up after people that don't seem to understand corporate managers have others that do this for them.  Why should you return home to such a life?  What is the reward factor, or the incentive for such an act?

Many women are torn about their stay away from home, and how guilty they feel when their children are needy.  The key here is as the child gets older, they are less needy, and will pass you by for other kids, activities, and a whole world of social clubs. 

Please read the article and let me know how you feel.  Leave a comment at the bottom.  I would be interested to see your responses.